Dear Luigi,

It’s a me. Tonight marks the end of a long and tortuous journey. For twenty years we have toiled in vain, succumbing to traps and villains that Bowzer has set before us. Countless years we experienced self sacrifice; jumping down grimy sewers, being burned by lava pits, ingesting raw shrooms for life, and falling off ledges. Well tonight, the journey has finally ended!

How many times were we duped, thinking that the next castle in the far off distance was the one that held our beloved princess? At times, the journey was so difficult it felt like an external hand was pushing on towards the goal. It never occurred to me why we did not embark on this journey together but perhaps it is better this way.

As a final word. We are brothers and I know we hold to a strict bro code. How many chances does a short plump Italian plumber have with a princess? I hope you understand. dibs.

Con amore mio fratello,
M
9.22.2010

I once received a “Legends of Zelda” game without the manual from an aunt of mine. She may have bought it second hand. It confused me how my friends could say this game was any fun when all I was doing was wandering around the meadow lands killing creatures and hording rupees. In any case, I played the game for about 2 years on and off before I discovered that the game actually had levels! I was actually supposed to be recovering something called the triforce. With the help of the internet, that was the first console game I ever beat, and that only happened within the last 2 years.

Maybe I’ll return to the game in another 10 years and beat the remaining levels. Until then, Mario can run off with Peach and live happily ever after.